I know I've stressed this a lot, you know, between the text. Oh you've noticed? Really, well kudos to you, because you've fallen into my trap. See I'm an attention whore, and calling myself a loser is really great for attention. But when compared to people who have actual problems, I find myself shying away. I'm not, I wasn't, I didn't, and I can't comes to mind as I come to the conclusion that this act in it self is terrible. The one thing I was to be that would help me has now enveloped me, taken me in and now I have nothing. Everyone truly hates me, avoids me, sees me none other than what I was pretending to be: a loser. I've lost and I cannot undo it. I'm here forever to remain in the background.
But I've had a revelation. This is perhaps how it was meant to be. I lose, some one wins. One goes up, one goes down, a natural order of this world. Eat or be eaten, survival of the fittest, throw in some natural selection and you find the dead ones... have lost. I'm a loser, but I don't feel so bad about it anymore. I find myself reveling in it, I see things in a new way and it... is enlightening. Always losing, always feeling pain, always. It's amazing, really, how you feel after you've embraced something. It's a part of your life now, not so much a hindrance than an everyday thing.
I am a loser, and I will stay this way, for if there is not a loser, the definition of winner is for nought. I didn't ask for it, but I might as well have.
Now I know what most of you are thinking. Actually, i know what all of you are thinking, and you guys (girls too) actually have a couple different viewpoints.
There are the ones that don't care of course, these are the ones that are the winners naturally, because they don't confer with my kind.
There are the ones that care actively. They think I must change, I must be a winner. These are the ones that give the best reasons for me not being a loser. Such as,"If you've lost than you've won at being a loser, right?"
There are the ones that care passively. These will say, "So you're a loser, huh? That's cool, Losers are cool, Losers are in! etc. I'm a loser too! Let's be losers together!"
And finally the ones I love the most are the ones that wants to not care, but care anyway. Something like a cross between actively not caring and passively caring. These one's will say, "You do what you do, I give up." In these I find myself being heartbroken, because they've given up on me after trying so hard to refuse me my loserdom. I've worn them down and now it's something they have to live with. These will know what it is, they've seen my mind, know the truth of my words, see the reality for what it really is.
And in those people I've failed them, because if they've found out, they don't see the point in losers and winners anymore. They fight the power so to speak in trying to unbalance this perfect order. And I can't stop them, they're winners, what can I do? I'll only succeed in losing. It's my only virtue that I can count on.